Thursday, February 2, 2012

Who says all of life's problems can't be solved with a pint of ice cream?

I have discovered, recently, that I am an emotional eater. I wish that wasn't the case, I wish I was one of those lucky few who fast when they're sad; those who go through a period of "sadness starvation," if you will. But not me. You can always tell when I'm going through a rough time by the width of my face. My smile disappears along with my jawline.

That being said, I'm sure it's of no surprise to you, that for the majority of my life, I honestly believed that most of life's problems could be solved by dunking your spoon into a pint of Ben & Jerry's and not coming out until you've hit bottom. (The bottom...of the pint, although I can understand the confusion).

This problem really came to a head this past Christmas break, when I put on an embarrassing display of food annihilation, in front of a close personal friend of mine. Now, a true friend wouldn't let me put away an entire wing of the Publix Supermarket alone, so a couple hours (don't judge me) later, we finally put down the last of the cookie yo-yo's, and retreated to the couch for a food coma. I didn't fully recover from that experience until the next day....but that didn't stop me from repeating it a few days later, this time in the comfort of my own home, during a movie...and again, a few days after that, at a funeral reception.

Just when I thought my emotional eating habits were getting out of control and I needed to find another way to deal with my feelings (alcohol? crystal meth?), this happened:

As of four days ago, these were the things that were less than perfect in my world:
-Rent money: don't have any
-Money for anything: $-36 in da bank, so... no.
-Money for out-of-school comedy class: ^ still, no.
-School/advisors: not happy with me.
(So, I'm taking 4 different classes in 4 different majors...let me live my life).
-Eyeballs: only work up-close.
-Much-needed glasses: please see points 1, 2 & 3.

I wasn't nearly as worried about this as I should have been, considering I spent my last $9 in cash on a "Lethal Mai Tai" I saw on the travel channel. (Priorities...priorities).

Now, if you've been paying attention thus far, you'd know that this is the point where I would turn to my best friends Ben & Jerry, while simultaneously satisfying every craving I've ever had. However, these "feeling feasts" work a whole lot better when you have cash money. And since I don't, I turned to the next best coping mechanism: Sleeping.
(We can address my sleeping habits in another post).

I dream a lot when I sleep, and I have a lot of nightmares. But in this particular slumber, I had a glorious dream - a poor person's substitute for real life luxuries.

I dreamt that I was eating an entire pint of ice cream, with Oreos and popcorn in it, in a movie theater by myself.

(I don't know what movie I was watching, the important thing is that I didn't have to share my ice cream).

So, let's recap: no money, no outside class I want to take, no rent, no food, no hope... (ok, ok).

Ice cream dream.

Then, suddenly -
We're able to put our Costco membership to use. Rent money comes in and we're able to make our deadline by the skin of our teeth. And, I am able to take my comedy class after-all! Granted, my advisor is still calling me every day, trying to convince me to change my classes, and I'm still going to need new glasses at some point, so I can actually see what I'm learning in aforementioned classes.. but the biggest of our troubles are over...for now. We'll still have struggles, every month I'm sure, but I find it hard to believe that my ice cream dream didn't have something to do with helping us out of this one.

Oh, and Mom- you'll be getting a HUGE shout-out at the Oscars for supporting me figuratively and literally, even when you probably shouldn't have.

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