Inspiring friends.

Stephanie McKee

I went to middle school with this lady. She is from an amazingly talented gene pool. Actress/Pageant Queen/Model sister, Ballerina sister, Musician brother. Stephanie is the gifted artist. She is going to change the world someday, I'm convinced. She is currently in South Africa for the summer, bringing art to the walls of a men's prison in Johannesburg. Amazing artist, amazing woman. 

Dennis Eroh. 

Dennis is a friend from high school, who will always have a special place in my heart. On my 18th birthday, he was one of three guests I chose to celebrate with. (the other two being my boyfriend and my brother). It does not matter how long we have gone without talking, the minute we pick conversation up again, it is like we never even left. His writing is beautifully heartbreaking, and he has been someone who's words I have looked up to, for many years. We talked more during my darkest days, than probably anyone, and I learned more from him than he probably realizes. He's strong and confident in his originality, and that is something I will always admire about him. When I first started sharing my writing, Den was there, reading and commenting on them all. I will always remember this comment of his, on something I wrote:

"You're a full-fledged poet now. I don't know if you want it or not, but I can see it in your thoughts: skipping things, forgetting words to write down sentiments instead- learning through writing- journaling as a process instead of a slate."

Roxanne Woltil & Jeffrey Sincich. 

I want a love like this. 

Every time I read Roxanne's cute blog, I get a warm feeling in my heart. It is one of the absolute cutest, and makes me feel like writing, traveling, taking pictures and spending time with the people I hold dearest to my heart. Jeffrey is currently on a bicycle tour from Portland to San Francisco (my city!) and Roxanne is on her way out to meet him for a couple days. I think that's so awesome. Their relationship is one I truly admire. I didn't realize until she posted something about it on her blog, but I was there for her and Jeffrey's first out-of-school hangout, at his birthday dinner (in 2007). I was attempting to court someone at that dinner myself, and I think that's kind of adorable. I wonder, if we had both known that, if we would have been talking in the restaurant bathroom, nervously primping ourselves. Roxanne is now engaged to Jeffrey, and I love that. Their relationship is so unique and lovely. I'm not sure if they know that there are people out there (like me), who's romantic, storybook hearts, flutter with every blog post, or cute picture uploaded. I can only hope that one day, I have a love like that. Two people who are so uniquely perfect for each other, for their similarities, but also their differences, who are committed to FUN and dreams, above all else. 

Isn't it great when you realize how awesome some people in your life are doing? I'm going to go enjoy this day with a full heart. 

Be kind to one another. 

- D

impromptu free-write.

For the first time in a long time, I felt like writing again. So, I went to a favorite corner coffee shop by my apartment, ate lunch alone in the sun, and this is what came out of that. 

The breeze blows my pages up as I struggle to get all my thoughts out, poetically. 

My brain often races, much like the man crossing the street in the final seconds of the walk signal. 

But few times has my heart felt this full.

Mama said there'd by days like that. And there were.

Days revealing the deepest, darkest places I've ever known. 

Not sure what it took for the clouds to change and bring a little lightness my way...but I'm sitting in it now and it is sweet.

Blooming tiny pink flowers on even the tallest of my willows. 

They're getting their happy back, just in time for summer. 

So long sweet misery, you are no longer serving me. 

I'm in the light at the end of the tunnel, looking back at all the grayness that made me stronger. 

How full I feel, crossing over and not looking back, conquering fears.

Staring down at my feet, amazed at how far they've taken me already. 

And how much further they'll go. 

Stay with me for a while, new friend. 

While I share with you my sadness and gladness, struggles and strengths, wellness and woes. 

And when we're done, all I ask is a smile. 

Yours is the best I've ever seen. 

Photo Challenge: Day Six

It took me a long time to write this, because Dre put on "The Sitter" for us to watch. (C'mon brother, it's bloggin' time). But who can turn down a movie? Not me. And Jonah Hill, cool. A movie that starts out with a sex scene, even cooler. So if this post doesn't make sense, you have Dre & Jonah to thank... And judging by the amount of funny one-liners that I've already laughed at, you guys might be in trouble. But I digress... I've got my coffee and I'm ready to write..

Guys, this isn't going well so far. They're playing "Jump on it" in this movie now. Anyway, fighting the urge to get out of my seat and dance....

Earlier this year, I made a resolution to try new things. Lots of new things. A new thing every day. I haven't shared much of this on my blog, aside from the bit about my comedy class. (Which, by the way, starts up again tonight. I'm in the advanced class now, y'all).

But wait....there's more....

Lately, I've been trying to eat eggs. I know, super edgy of me, right? I've always liked eggs, but I haven't been able to get into them that much. Like, I could never eat them in the morning. I would be able to enjoy them in the late afternoon or evenings, but in the morning they always made me kind of nauseous... I don't know, it doesn't make any sense. But today, right before I started blogging, I ate an omelette. And on Sunday, I had a bacon, egg and cheese croissant sandwich....at like 10 am, so I'm making progress.

I have also reconnected with an old flame, in a friendly way. I hate when people hate me, so it has been nice to get back to emailing and laughing at cat videos.

I've also been going on a lot of auditions. There's really only one thing I can say on that subject: It's a good thing I'm in comedy class......so I can make fun of myself.

Day 06: A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.

I have a feeling that Ellen Degeneres would just "get me."

Photo Challenge: Day Five

Hello blogisphere,

Since I've been gone, I somehow contracted a nasty ear infection that made me deaf in the left. I had to take an Art History midterm like this...completely half-way deaf, dizzy and nauseous. That, compared with my overall lack of art history knowledge, is probably not going to result in the best grade ever. The next day, after a ten hour school day, I found an urgent care clinic to go to, and I was there for three hours, enduring a really long, really painful ear procedure, to get my hearing back. This made me even more dizzy and nauseous, to the point where I had to lay down on an exam table for a while, until I got my bearings back. After that, my ear was just on fire for the rest of the day. I am allergic to the medicine they normally prescribe for ear infections (lucky me), so I got put on a different medication that....guess what....makes me super nauseous. I went in to get my ear fixed, and I got prescribed medicine that makes me feel physically ill....backwards steps?

The good news is that today is my fifth and final day of crushing pills into powder, and swallowing it down with yogurt that tastes like poison. Oh, that's right....I can't swallow pills. You may remember this from my ten facts on Day One of this challenge. But the doctor wouldn't give me liquid form, because, as he put it... "It's time for me to learn." And I agree with him, however I don't think the best time to learn is when I actually need this medicine in my body asap. I think I should just be able to practice with some mini m&m's on my own time or something. Anyway, it's almost over. The sad thing is that my last day of antibiotics falls on St. Patrick's Day, so I will be curling up with homework and Disney's "The Luck of the Irish" while the entire city of San Francisco is out running the streets. A part of me was really looking forward to my first Irish Car Bomb, but the other part of me is really thankful that I have an excuse to be responsible and bury myself in work on a Saturday night.

Day 05: A photo of your favorite memory.

This one is definitely up there. This trip was a glorious nightmare. During spring break of my senior year, I jetted off to Europe with some of my favorite people from my graduating class, and some of my least favorite underclassmen. We went to France, Germany, Switzerland, Austria and Liechtenstein. We laughed, cried, got terrified for our lives, and wanted to punch some people in the face. But it still remains one of the absolute best times of my life.

This photo was taken in Switzerland. It was really late at night, but a few of us were still awake in the "Haunted Swiss Sorority House" we got stuck in, because some of our housemates were bringing forth spirits with a wigi board. Good thing too, because if I wasn't busy being terrified, I would have missed out on this photo opp, which coincidentally, was also my first time seeing snow. My favorite part of this picture might be the Crocs on my feet.

Photo Challenge: Day Four

Well, I had a three-day blogging streak... not bad. At least I'm returning before March is over. My life in San Francisco is so effing busy. This is a good thing usually, but not when it comes to abandoning your blog and your new year's resolutions. Almost halfway to April, I think there's still time to turn this year around. Since I am so busy, I often capitalize on my down-time (in the form of procrastination and naps), which sometimes results in me having a pile of work to accomplish later. Because of this, coffee has become my life-fuel, as I am quickly becoming nocturnal.

Day 04: A picture of your night.

So, maybe we didn't need an entire day dedicated to relaxation and junk food, after hurting our bodies the night before, at a friend's birthday party. And maybe we certainly didn't need to stay up until 4 am watching "Toddlers & Tiaras"..... but we did. And it felt pretty dang good. (For the record, it was our first time watching it and I wanted to slap 85% of the moms on that show)

Dre & I are also both trying to fight off these little sicknesses that are trying to creep into our bodies...which really puts a damper on things for me, seeing as how it's almost Monday night, which means... it's time for The Voice! I love this show. Something you should know about me is that I love singing and music, and competition shows involving those things. However, every time I watch a show like this, I start singing the songs either with the people competing, or right after they've finished singing. Aside from making me quite the annoying spectator, it also makes me aware of my actual singing abilities.

For example, I am not this girl. Nor am I this girl.

Though I want so badly, to be.

If you want to hear some people who can kill it in ways that I only dream about, watch these cool dudes.

Photo Challenge: Day Three

I hate the fact that you can't catch up on sleep, or gain back the hours you missed. I guess that's how it goes with most things though. It was beautiful in San Francisco today! It was warm and sunny, and Dolores Park was absolutely packed with people...more than I've ever seen! (And it's always crowded). Enjoyed some food, friends, music and sunshine.

This week is going to be amazingly busy, I don't know how I'm going to do it. In most frightening news of the week, I might be going up on stage at the Purple Onion again on Tuesday, after my comedy class. (I have until midnight tonight to decide).

I am still so tired, and trying to talk myself into being enthusiastic about my homework. But first, I gotta continue my blogging streak.

Day 03: A picture of the cast from my favorite show.

Modern Family is pure genius. I have been in love with this show since the pilot episode. The actors are perfect for their characters, the writing is brilliant, and the writers are hilarious in their acceptance speeches at awards shows! It makes me laugh out loud, and always ends on an upbeat or moving note...what more could you ask for? (If anyone from the show sees this blog, HIRE ME PLEASE!)

Photo Challenge: Day Two

It was so hard to convince myself to blog tonight. (You see? Sometimes I'm really bad at this). I woke up at 4 am this morning, worked on a film shoot all day, and just got home. (It's 8 pm now). Sometimes I think that when I tell my body it has to wake up early the next day, it decides not to sleep at all the night before. I was so awake last night that it was absurd. I watched a couple episodes of Arrested Development, and then watched Beauty & the Briefcase in it's entirety....really? After Arrested Development (one of the best shows EVER), the plan was to put on a movie I could easily fall asleep to. I thought I had picked the right one...apparently not. So, anyway, I don't feel like moving, and my blood sugar's low, but I cannot summon the energy to go get a cookie ice cream sandwich from the corner store, though I'm desperately craving one. Coincidentally, tonight I am missing a "Zombie Prom" party, which I was very much looking forward to, because I feel like a sleep-deprived zombie.

Day 02: A picture of you and the person you've been closest with the longest.

This is my brother, Dre. I could write a book on how I feel about this man. We've been best friends since sixth grade, and literally inseparable. In 9th grade, he asked me out and I said no, because he's my very best friend in the entire world. I still have the love letter he wrote me, and we will always laugh at that memory. When I moved to San Francisco, he came with me, shortly after. When he moved away again, he quickly came back. He knows all my secrets, fears, desires, everything about me. Nearly every good memory and funny story I have, has to do with Dre. He is my best friend, my confidante, my future Man of Honor, and the love of my life. I love you, you beautiful chocolate man!

We were such babies!

Big hair, don't care.